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Before You Break It Try And Bend It

February 11, 2015

Image 8When an inexcusable betrayal occurs between friends, there is little doubt the friendship is over. In other cases there is no one instance. There is a dysfunctional pattern that has been created over time. Your friend is difficult because you have allowed them to be. You have taught your friend that you will surrender your needs for their’s at every juncture.

Now you’ve grown up, changed, or tired of this pattern. You can’t or don’t want to sustain it any longer. Some people who come to this place can’t tolerate confrontation so they avoid, disconnect, or shut their friend out with little explanation. This leaves the friend feeling very confused and upset. It may be hard to believe, but some of the takers or needy people of the world don’t entirely understand what they’re doing because they’ve been functioning that way most of their lives. There are also those who think they are quite special and that people should kowtow to them because they deserve to be celebrated in perpetuity.

Whatever the case may be, if there hasn’t been violence or an unconscionable offense then the friendship might be worth trying to bend rather than break. This is a process of changing the friendship because you can’t maintain the friendship in it’s current state. You may not want to destroy the friendship because it’s central to many of the other relationships or activities in your life. Perhaps you love and care about your friend but need a break from their neediness.

In the next few posts I’ll talk about what bending a relationship might look like, how to attempt a relationship bend, and how to tell if it’s not going to work.

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