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November 21, 2013

Within the confines of ethical behavior, good friends don’t make their friends feel bad about their choices. When friends judge each other it often arises from a place of jealousy, hypocrisy, competitiveness, insecurity, and/or a lack of empathy.

Here are some examples of how judgement might play out in a friendship:

  • “You’re such a health freak! What, are you scared to eat a donut?”
  • “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to live pay check to pay check!”Image
  • “Everything always works out perfectly for you.”
  • “You think you had a bad day? You have no idea.”
  • “How can you feel tired? You don’t work nearly as much as I do.”
  • “Why would you spend that much on your shoes?”
  • “Are you really happy staying at home with your kids? You could have done so much more with your life!”

See how this works? When judged you are made to feel bad for doing something you find fulfilling or for simply living your life. A quality friend may wish you hadn’t got that Monchichi tattoo, but they respect your love for that little monkey and they still adore you regardless of your new body art.

  1. eks permalink

    CRAZYness. I was so judged by a friend that yes – I did break up with her. It was a bit out of control, but once I set the boundaries I never looked back.

    • Feels good once you are over the hump doesn’t it? It’s terribly difficult when you are in the process of it and even in the aftermath, but there is no “looking back” once you realize how much less stress and anxiety you have when you remove yourself from the relationship. If you ever have a desire to write about your story I would love to post it! Kate

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