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November 7, 2013

Manipulation is an indirect way of trying to influence someone to do something or to feel a certain way. It’s a means of control.

Some people manipulate in calculated and sophisticated ways to get what they want. They can be sly and insidious and difficult to detect. Others can be quite transparent in their attempts to manipulate. There are also those who manipulate unconsciously because they don’t know how to directly advocate for themselves.

Here are a few tactics people use to manipulate others:

–      Anger or the threat of anger

–      Provoking jealousy

–      Seduction/FlatteryImage

–      Pitting people against each other

–      Lying

–      Threatening outwardly or subtly

–      Guilt tripping

–      Bullying

–      Recreating history/Memory “lapses”

–      Extreme persistence

–      Acting like you “owe” them (usually for things you never wanted from them in first place).

–      Playing the victim

–      Shaming or Mocking

–      Crying, sadness, or self-harm

People in friendships are susceptible to being manipulated because the better someone knows you, the easier it is to play on your emotions and characteristics. Also, many people believe that doing things for others is part of being a friend. The difference is that in a healthy friendship you do things for your friend because you want to, not because you feel you must . . . or else.

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